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Dear YOU,

You know that feeling when you're so fed up you don't know what to do anymore? You just want to live your life and screw everyone else and what they think. That's what happens when you realise that control has never been yours.

To grow up as a victim of narcissistic abuse looks like having no control over your life in the slightest. This is how you become a codependent—money which is necessary to meet basic needs is held against you. Decisions are made on your behalf because "there's no choice" in the eyes of the narcissist. To them, you need them (and they also need you.)

There are a lot of factors that play in understanding what narcissistic abuse is but as I continue to unlearn, learn, heal and grow I have also come to realize that some of my subconscious decisions were rooted in my being a victim. This was shown in my previous relationship. I was gaslighted and purposely hurt to make the termination of our relationship appear to be a mutual decision, just so the other party can receive what they wanted.

People who tend to repeat cycles of abusive relationships are victims who lack the awareness of not having any type of control due to narcissistic abuse and those who carry narcissistic traits. Taking your control back first starts with recieving and understanding the truth [which sets us free] and beginning to implement boundaries to protect your physical, mental and emotional health.

I am currently at a point in my life where taking back my control is necessary in order for me to fully heal from my wounds, know my authentic self and strive to reach my full potential. Speaking out about my story is one way I'm learning to do this. Also by saying "no" more and learning to put myself first and I hope you develop the courage and strength to do the same!

The beginning of my healing journey was documented in the form of poetry in my first book titled Ready or Not: A Series of Sentimental Poems. Get yourself a copy to receive the hope you need for whatever season you're in. Also visit my sister @withloveletoya for further help in understanding narcissistic abuse and identifying your symptoms to begin healing!

—xo,

MCW

#mpowered

#narcissiticabuse #healingjourney #selflove #mylifemycontrol #wellness #storytelling #empowerment